What a busy few weeks it has been!
When I first started this blog my goal was to write at least one post a week (since I have all the time in the world) but, that didn’t happen because life was really busy for the first time in a very long time for me. I forgot what busy felt like and how busy life can be, and to be honest I am not sure I miss it all that much.
I was just telling a friend about a month ago how much I miss being busy and on the go instead of having so much time on my hands. So ironic I got a glimpse of it the past few weeks, because it opened my eyes to a few things I really needed to see.
I was too busy for God. Oh, how I hate admitting that. Unfortunately, the busyness of life does that, and for the first time EVER, I missed being cooped up in our tiny apartment sitting at the feet of Jesus and sipping on the Word of God. Don’t get me wrong, I am very very grateful I was able to go out and about with family and friends and enjoy my time with them, but there’s a different and a deeper kind of joy that comes out of bathing in God’s Word every day, and my soul yearned for that while I was away and busy.
I was in Duluth one weekend, Iowa the following weekend, and Rochester and Lake Vermilion the next, and I had appointments galore during the week. My sick body was not used to doing all of that, and any down time I had, I would plop myself on the couch and not move or blink or anything… that’s how tired and busy I was. I felt like I had no time or energy to dig into scripture, or even pray for that matter, and I did not like that feeling one bit!
I truly believe busyness is a great distraction of the enemy. It is his desire to keep us too busy for God.
Since I became ill and have so much time on my hands, I spend quite a bit of time with God. I wake up, get on my knees, close my eyes and pray. I spend some time working on my Bible study (hope y’all are doing Priscilla Shirer’s Bible study, Gideon, this summer … it’s fabulous). I spend time digging into His Word and listening to worship songs … all in our tiny little apartment. This has been my almost daily routine for the past year and It dawned on me last week, in the midst of all the busyness, that I am very blessed for all the free time that I have because I get to spend it with Him. Wow, what a huge blessing that is!!!
When I woke up Monday morning, I got on my knees and, shockingly, I thanked God for my illness. Even though I was super dizzy, my body hurt and I had zero energy, I still sincerely thanked Him for this awful illness (I bet Satan didn’t see that coming :p). For the first time ever It felt like I was looking at suffering from God’s perspective and it felt good … so good!!
Today, Lord, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this illness. Thank you for the days when I am not able to leave the house because that is when you breath love and hope into my soul. I will always be still for you, Lord. Amen