This has been my husbands favorite sentence all week.
My neurological issues scare me quite a bit, but this time I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the things I have been saying recently.
My sweet husband would look at me with a concerned/baffled/feel sorry for me face and I would just vomit out Lyme words that would make absolutely no sense!!
Here’s a quick story for you –
We have been having a hard time finding a Church here in our new hometown. So, Saturday night, we talked about watching Dr. Charles Stanley on TV Sunday morning. The following day, My husband was sitting on the couch, and as I was walking out of our bedroom I say … wait for it … wait for it … “Hey honey, did you want Dr. Charles Stanley for lunch?” … my husband, for the 100th time this week, says “what did you say?!?!”, we both look at each other quietly and burst into laughter. He then proceeds with “no no, Dr. Charles Stanley doesn’t really sound that good for lunch .. thanks though.”
I originally wanted to say “Hey honey, did you want to watch Dr. Charles Stanley this morning?” I have no idea where the lunch part came from nor was I thinking about lunch, or anything that pertains to food for that matter!
I started feeling very ill Monday morning with extreme vertigo, AWFUL headaches, stomach issues and extreme fatigue. I thought I was herxing really bad, relapsing, or coming down with a nasty bug. A few days ago, both my husband and I smelt something funky in the basement. My husband calls for someone right away to come check it out, and come to find out, we had two gas leaks in our home – that’s the last thing my body needs right now! It was fixed that night, but I left and spent the night at my in-laws house and sure enough, the headaches and all that stuff went away the next day!!
Anyways, so I keep telling my husband my brain was being filled with toxic gas this past week and that is why I was saying all these weird words! 😉
I know how scary it can be with these neurological issues – memory loss, word retrieval and all that stuff – it can be extremely depressing and frightening, but sometime it is good to just laugh at it rather than dwell on it. For me, it feels like a small victory against this illness!
This might sound really strange to you all but sometimes (not in public or out loud .. I promise:)) I talk to the Lyme and Co’s (which by the way, I am certain they are somehow related to the devil … cousins or siblings … especially Babesia). Yesterday, for example, as I walked away from my hubby after our laughing attack, in my mind I said “I bet you didn’t see that coming, you nasty little things.” Other times, on days where I feel like this illness is trying really hard to get to me I would say to it “you have no control over my body or mind.” Our minds are sooo powerful, you guys … it creates reality in a ‘sense’!! The way we think determines what we can and can’t see or do. We have a huge advantage over this rotten illness … let’s use it!
Last year I would have been bumming out big time for messing up my words as much as I have in the past week. I would have went on and on about me not sounding smart and it would have spiraled into a sobbing fest.
Let’s try these together –
If you can’t retain any information while you are conversing with someone, just say “wow, that is crazy” like I do 🙂
If you are driving and forget whether the turn signal goes down or up for left or right turns – it is okay – just put your hazard lights on. (this totally happened by the way)
On a serious note, no matter how weird we may sound or act … let’s add a little humor to it and laugh at ourselves! I am not going to let this illness win and neither are you!
Small victories, my friends … small victories!
“With enough small victories one can overcome impossible opposition and odds”