Vacation & New Blog

Yikes .. it’s been a while since I’ve written a post!

My family and I went to Arizona to get away from the MN weather and bask in the AZ sun a few weeks ago.

It was wonderful!

Since I have been ill I have had very low Vitamin-D levels, I am sure this is very common with chronic illnesses, and I made sure my vacation consisted mostly of me lying in the sun … and that I did!!! I felt so good, you guys … hardly any pains, no aches, no dizziness, no fatigue, nothing … all those annoying symptoms were pretty much gone and I felt pretty close to normal for 5 days!!

Such a big tease!!

When we got back to MN, sure enough, the very next day I was back to feeling icky again.

Do any of you feel better during the summer?!ย Have any of you made that drastic move and relocated to a warmer state?

Now .. if only I can convince my small-town-Minnesotan-husband to move!!

Happy wife happy life …. write that down gentlemen! ๐Ÿ™‚

Completely off the topic-

When I started this blog last year I didn’t know if I was going to enjoy it, so I purposely chose the easier way to start a blog and didn’t really put much effort to the design because I wasn’t sure if I was going to keep it. Well, since I thoroughly enjoy writing (who would have thought?) I have decided to switch from WordPress.com to WordPress.org and get a better design for my blog. I have been reading up on the switch and it sounds very confusing. I don’t want to start a new blog, I just want to transfer the contents from this one onto the next one! I don’t know how some people do this for a living .. it is very very confusing! To add on to the confusion, I have a Chromebook (don’t ever get a Chromebook) and it is run by Google, therefore, I am unable to download certain contents onto my Chromebook!! I might have to bust out my humungo computer and start using that one … we shall see!!

Hopefully within the next week or so I should have it all figured out!!

Blessings,

Aish Xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

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10 Crazy Comments: Don’t Say These To A Lyme Patient

I was thinking the other day at some things people have said to me (doctors, nurses, friends, strangers and family members) over the past three years …. and you guys, they made me chuckle … loud!

IF THEY ONLY KNEW!!!!!!

So, here are some things that were said to me, and I am sure you can all relate to a few of them … or all of them!

1- But, you don’t look sick.ย 

I think we have all heard this one and it drives me crazy!!! I am not sure if it is a compliment or if they are hinting in a nice/weird way that I am not really sick because I am physically not showing any symptoms. I never know if I should say “thank you” or “oh, but I feel really rotten on the inside.” A friend of mine told me she saw a bumper sticker once that read “if I looked like I felt I’d scare your children”, and that pretty much sums it all up.

2-ย What is Babesia? is it a skin infection?

FYI, this came out of a nurses’ mouth!!! My response to her “very close actually, it is a malaria-like parasitic disease that infects the red blood cells … it almost put me in a wheel chair.” Complete silence on her end!!

3- Maybe you just need to get out of the house.

I mean, I don’t know about you, but I really really enjoy laying on the couch with my robe and pajama pants on all day, feeling utterly useless, my hair looking like I was electrocuted in my sleep, bags under my eyes and groaning because of how much pain I am in!! Trust me, if I COULD get out I WOULD!!!!

4- Maybe you need to exercise.ย 

Imagine having the flu, feeling hungover (for no apparent reason) and got hit by a huge semi! Yep, that’s what we feel like most days. If you want to avoid a bart-raged woman or man (and trust me, you do) do not tell them maybe they need to exercise!!

5- Are you drinking enough water?

This is not the flu guys!!!

6- Maybe if you get pregnant it will go away.

BAHAHAH! That is all I have to say to this one.

7- There’s no way you have Babesiosis, it is very very rare and most commonly found in animals. (ER doctor)

Well, that brings me so much comfort that this illness is being acknowledged in animals but not humans! Cool Beans!

9- You want to believe you have Lyme, but that’s not what you have.

I mean, having Lyme Disease is the “in thing” now a days, why would I not want to have it!?

10- Are you sure you are just not depressed?

“Father, I am bart-raging right now. Breath peace in me, Lord”

 

I know people have said some crazyyyy things to you, if you feel comfortable enough to share them here, I would love to hear them!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Blessings & Love,

Aisha

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GF Oatmeal Cookies

I know a lot of Lyme patients are on a strict diet.

For me, it can be incredibly frustrating trying to find recipes that are GF, sugar free, dairy free and at the same time ones that taste good! Let’s be real here, some GF foods/recipes out there are gross, y’all!! I bought GF pasta a while back and I was literally gagging while eating it. Thankfully, I found some awesome GF pasta that tastes great!

Anywho

I found this awesome GF, vegan, refined sugar free, soy and dairy free oatmeal cookies recipe … and they are sooo yummy!!! My husband is a picky eater and he devoured them! So, I thought I would share it with you all, since there are a lot of things out there that we can’t eat!

  • 1 1/2 cups uncooked GF rolled oats
  • 3/4 cups All-Purpose GF Flour
  • 1/4 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp baking soda
  • pinch salt
  • 1/2 cup maple syrup
  • 1/4 cup Canola oil {I used coconut oil}
  • 1/4 tsp vanilla
  • 1 Tbsp ground flaxseed
  • About 3/4 of a medium banana
  • 1/2 cup raisins

Mix all ingredients really well {make sure there aren’t any banana chunks}. I used a spoon to transfer the cookie dough onto the baking sheet. Bake at 375 for 7-10 minutes, until they are a light golden brown color!

And Voila!

Hope y’all enjoy them!!!

Aish

“I am Transforming You”

It was a chilly fall morning.

I lay in bed gazing out the window, carefully watching each leaf sway.

“How did all the trees look so vibrant with all the beautiful red, orange and gold colors last week, and now, they practically look dead?” I asked myself.

I brushed it off and got on with my day.

After breakfast, I came back to my room, I knelt before the Lord and prayed my morning prayer.

I feel closer to God when I gaze at His creation. Trees, birds, the sky, etc, ย give me a tremendous amount of peace when I am praying, and that only comes from being in His presence. So, I always pray in front of the big window in my bedroom.

It was an ordinary morning. I opened up my prayer in thanksgiving and made my requests made known to Him, at the same time, watching most of the lifeless leaves fall slowly to the ground and others swaying back and forth from the tree branch.

In the middle of my prayer, I becameย silent & my eyes were fixed on the leaves.

A gust of wind came rushing by and took down the last leaves that were swaying.

Some of them drifted off in a distance, and others lay quietly in a pile.

“For the leaves to come new, they have to die, my sweet child.”

That was the first time in my life, since I became a believer, I heard God very clearly speaking to me.ย I may not have heard a loud-thundering voice … but I just knew it was Him.

I have struggled for a long time to hear God’s voice, and then there are others who seem to have God’s number in their contact list. He is finding them parking spots and telling them what decision to make! I felt as if I was missing a Christian chromosome and would never be able to hear His voice.

As I knelt on the floor, I felt Him gently whispering to me “You are in the process of a spiritual transformation, my child …ย yourย old-self dying to your new-self.”

Things I enjoyed doing before I became ill, I don’t enjoy doing anymore.ย Things that used to make me laugh back then (dirty jokes, etc), don’t make me laugh anymore.ย TV shows and movies I enjoyed watching back then, I don’t enjoy watching anymore.

My mind is transforming, my heart is transforming and my soul is transforming into someone that God wants me to be!

I sat there in silence and tears went pouring down my cheeks. I couldn’t finish my prayer … I bowed my head and quietly whispered, “Thank you, Lord.”

This happened to me in the beginning of fall. I wanted to write a post about it then, but I had no idea how to convey it into words, because to be quite honest with you, words can’t describe what I felt and what I heard that chilly fall morning. I prayed hard about it for a while now and asked The Holy Spirit to guide my fingers while I write this post today, because I couldn’t have done it otherwise!

You and I have asked God to remove our suffering numerous times, and the answer may have been “not yet”, and that is okay, because He is transforming our suffering into something that will be beneficial for us and will bring glory to Him!

Lean on Him …

Don’t give up …

We have new life in Him.

Blessings & Love,

Aisha

 

 

 

 

 

The Walking Lymies

I got a glimpse of myself as I was walking by our bedroom mirror the other morning, and I was frazzled.

It was a bad morning!

I had the Lyme hangover (you, Lyme friends, know what I am talking about)… it felt like a big semi ran over my body 10 times the night before!

I woke up from bed and my hair looked like a I was rocking out hard in my sleep … it was everywhere. Beautiful (not really) fluffy bags under my eyes. Pale skin. Zits the size of a golf ball on my face (why on earth am I breaking out at the age of 28?!?) … I mean my husband couldn’t get any luckier! My golly he scored big time!

I knew I resembled someone when I saw myself in the mirror, but I couldn’t pin-point who it was!

And then it hit me ….

I looked like the walkers from The Walking Dead … the resemblance was uncanny!!

The hair .. identical. The Stance … identical. The walk … identical. Too bad we didn’t hear about the auditions for the part earlier on. We wouldn’t need all that makeup they put on their faces, we would just have to wake up from a herx and TADA … we look like walkers!!

Fellow Lymies, I think we found ourselves a job to pay for the copious amount of meds, herbals, supps, doc appointments and not to mention, therapy, because this illness makes you go totally crazy!!!

Watch out Hollywood, here comes The Walking Lymies!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being Bold With My Faith With My Muslim Family

I wrote a post a while back about me being a fearful person most of my life. Both of my parents instilled fear in me and my siblings at a very young age. Our father was an alcoholic, so, there was always that constant on edge feeling being around him wondering what he will do next. My mother feared everything in life and it was very apparent to me and my siblings. Unfortunately, we were predisposed to being fearful individuals.

In my opinion, there is nothing, besides not knowing the Lord and having a serious illness, that is more debilitating in life than being fearful. It has robbed my joy from a lot of things in my life and it has hindered me from doing anything with the gifts God has given me .. I can’t imagine how sad that makes Him!ย 

One day, the load of my all fears weighed very heavily on my shoulders … I couldn’t stand up! I fell on my knees and cried out to Him and begged Him that He would set me free! Since then, I have been praying earnestly that the Holy Spirit will clothe me with Boldness and fearlessness with my everyday life, but most importantly with my faith.

I can’t tell you how many times I have kept my mouth shut from friends, strangers or family members when I clearly felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit to say something. Instead, I stayed quiet because I was fearful I would offend them, or scared of what they would think of me.

I specifically remember praying about this matter one day and emphasizing more about being fearless and bold with my faith. I felt a weird nudge in my body and my Facebook status popped in my head (weird I know… that’s what I thought too). I love posting quotes from Christian books I am reading, or articles by some pastors that I come by, so my friends who are non-believers would see it. This is my “comfortable” way of being bold with my faith – I don’t have to confront anyone face to face and my statuses sound smart because they are from people who have studied the Bible inside and out!

Here is the part where I think the Holy Spirit was nudging me when I was praying, and I really hate admitting this … I have blocked every single Muslim family member of mine from my statuses on my Facebook. When I told my father I became a Christian a while back, in anger he told me that the rest of my family members in Jordan absolutely cannot find out I converted, because they could disown me or who knows what else could happen… and out of fear, I listened!ย 

That nudge I felt, was almost as if God was telling me to start being bold with my family first. Every single time I have prayed about this, my family pops in my head!ย 

What if my Muslim family in Jordan have never heard of the King of Kings?

What if it was through my Facebook posts that one or more would come to know Christ as their Lord and Savior?ย 

What if Satan is trying his best to make me so fearful that the Word of God will not reach my family in Jordan?

I emailed my father a month ago or so and asked him to give his life to Christ, and believe me when I say this, I would have NEVER been able to do this last year!! The outcome was not what I was praying for … but at least I planted the seed and God can most definitely make it grow!

I am fervently asking you all for prayers on this very important matter – prayers for me to be bold and fearless with my faith when it comes to my family and with others as well!

I keep reminding myself of Peter, he would have not been able to walk on water unless he first stepped out of the boat to walk on that water!

Help me step out of the boat, Lord!ย 

Blessings & Love,

Aish

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So Many Meds

I was looking through some old photos and I came across this one. (sorry it’s large)

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That was the month I started treating Lyme & Co’s for the first time. My husband and I were going out of town and I remember looking at my bag and thinking “WOW, these are a lot of meds to take”, so I snapped a photo of it and sent it to my siblings saying “Look at all the meds I have to take.” I also thought I will only need these meds to get me better .. HA .. boy was I wrong!ย 

I threw away a lot of my meds and empty bottles, but I saved some just in case something happens with our insurance or whatever .. you just never know now a days! After I looked at this photo, I went and gathered all my meds and supplements that I have taken in the past year, and I would say this photo is just half of what I took – not including the empty bottles I threw away!!

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It’s crazy how many supplements/meds Lyme patients need to get better! You name it, and we are on it!

Ooooohh, the joy’s of having a chronic illness, right?! :p

Blessings,

Aisha

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What Did You Say?!

This has been my husbands favorite sentence all week.

My neurological issues scare me quite a bit, but this time I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the things I have been saying recently.

My sweet husband would look at me with a concerned/baffled/feel sorry for me face and I would just vomit out Lyme words that would make absolutely no sense!!

Here’s a quick story for you –

We have been having a hard time finding a Church here in our new hometown. So, Saturday night, we talked about watching Dr. Charles Stanley on TV Sunday morning. The following day, My husband was sitting on the couch, and as I was walking out of our bedroom I say … wait for it … wait for it … “Hey honey, did you want Dr. Charles Stanley for lunch?” … my husband, for the 100th time this week, says “what did you say?!?!”, we both look at each other quietly and burst into laughter. He then proceeds with “no no, Dr. Charles Stanley doesn’t really sound that good for lunch .. thanks though.”

I originally wanted to say “Hey honey, did you want to watch Dr. Charles Stanley this morning?” ย I have no idea where the lunch part came from nor was I thinking about lunch, or anything that pertains to food for that matter!

I started feeling very ill Monday morning with extreme vertigo, AWFUL headaches, stomach issues and extreme fatigue. I thought I was herxing really bad, relapsing, or coming down with a nasty bug. A few days ago, both my husband and I smelt something funky in the basement. My husband calls for someone right away to come check it out, and come to find out, we had two gas leaks in our home – that’s the last thing my body needs right now! It was fixed that night, but I left and spent the night at my in-laws house and sure enough, the headaches and all that stuff went away the next day!!

Anyways, so I keep telling my husband my brain was being filled with toxic gas this past week and that is why I was saying all these weird words! ๐Ÿ˜‰

I know how scary it can be with these neurological issues – memory loss, word retrieval and all that stuff – it can be extremely depressing and frightening, but sometime it is good to just laugh at it rather than dwell on it. For me, it feels like a small victory against this illness!

This might sound really strange to you all but sometimes (not in public or out loud .. I promise:)) I talk to the Lyme and Co’s (which by the way, I am certain they are somehow related to the devil … cousins or siblings … especially Babesia). Yesterday, for example, as I walked away from my hubby after our laughing attack, in my mind I said “I bet you didn’t see that coming, you nasty little things.” Other times, on days where I feel like this illness is trying really hard to get to me I would say to it “you have no control over my body or mind.” Our minds are sooo powerful, you guys … ย it creates reality in a ‘sense’!! The way we think determines what we can and can’t see or do. We have a huge advantage over this rotten illness … let’s use it!

Last year I would have been bumming out big time for messing up my words as much as I have in the past week. I would have went on and on about me not sounding smart and it would have spiraled into a sobbing fest.

Let’s try these together –

If you can’t retain any information while you are conversing with someone, just say “wow, that is crazy” like I do ๐Ÿ™‚

If you are driving and forget whether the turn signal goes down or up for left or right turns – it is okay – just put your hazard lights on. (this totally happened by the way)

On a serious note, no matter how weird we may sound or act … let’s add a little humor to it and laugh at ourselves! I am not going to let this illness win and neither are you!

Small victories, my friends … small victories!

“With enough small victories one can overcome impossible opposition and odds”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

House, Health & Acupuncture

Yay! I survived the move!!

The past few months have been crazy busy, especially the past few weeks. We moved in to our home two Wednesday’s ago … we had to unpack, clean (my mother in law did most of it) & more unpacking … it felt like it was never ending and honestly, it still feels that way! I went up to Duluth two weekends ago because my sisters longtime boyfriend was planning a surprise proposal. Also, this past weekend my husband and I drove down to Rochester because both of us were in a wedding … so, yeah, it has been a little nuts lately!!

So, what is going on with my health?

Well, I am still on Takuna & A-bart. Now that life is slowing down a bit, I upped my Takuna dose to 2 drops and once I stop herxing from it I will add Quina (Microbial Defense) and Enula (for Babesia). My LLMD thinks I still have some Babesia in me – I treated babs (short cut for babesia) for a year with Mepron & Azithromycin, I was also on Minocycline (not sure if it hits babs or not), anyways, she thinks my treatment for babs wasn’t long enough and the meds weren’t enough. So, here I go again with babs treatment. To be honest with you, I am petrified to start Enula because I had the worst herxes from treating babs. The herxes were stroke like symptoms … VERY VERY scary. I was also the most depressed I had ever been when I was treating babesia … it was a very scary time in my life! I am praying that I will react differently this time around because a) they are herbals and b) I am hoping my babesia load is down, so I won’t herx as bad …. we shall see!!!

I started a sublingual b12 methylcobalamin a month ago because of the C677t gene mutation that I have, and I can say that I have noticed a bit of a difference in my energy. I am still looking for someone who is able to interpret my raw data from my 23andme results so I can figure out what supplements work for me and which ones don’t!

I did acupuncture for the first time last week. I had heard mixed reviews about getting acupuncture done while having Lyme and Co-infections, so, I wanted to experience it myself and see what it was all about.

It was strange … very very strange.

The acupuncturist touched spots on my feet, legs, stomach, arms, hands, head and ears and by doing that she could tell what was going on in my body!! It was crazy! My liver is good, my gallbladder is good, something is goofy with my spleen and my large intestine and of course my immune system is bad.

Prior to this, I filled out a symptom checklist and, no joke, I almost checked off every symptom on the list. She looked at it and said “yikes” and in my mind I said “lady, I feel so sorry for you because you have a handful.”

She put the needles in my feet, legs, hands, arms, ears and hands. Shockingly, they didn’t hurt, but they felt a little weird! Then, she put a hypothermia blanket on me and told me to nap for 20 minutes. I thought she was joking – how can someone nap looking like that?!?!

As she exited the room I had a giggling attack because I thought I looked ridiculous … oh, at what length some people (me) will go for their health!!!

I felt very odd the first 5 minutes into it. Heart palpitation, weird sensations in my body, vertigo – basically a lot of my symptoms were heightened. I was very tempted to exist the room and walk next door (to her office) and ask her to take the pins out of my body, but I thought that would make me look even more ridiculous. Fifteen minutes into it I became extremely sleepy and the sleepiness/fatigue/vertigo continued for several hours after my appointment, but after that I had an enormous amount of energy!

Since then, the ringing in my ears have diminished, my anxiety has been less this week & I feel happier! I see her again this Thursday … slightly dreading it because of how I felt the first 5 minutes, but, if it will help me get better, then it is definitely worth it!!

Blessings & Love,

Aisha ๐Ÿ™‚

 

The Long Windy Road

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“But all along this hazardous, twisted road that doesn’t let you see very far ahead there are frequent signs that say, ‘the best is yet to come.’ And at the bottom right corner written with an unmistakable hand are the words, ‘as I live, says the Lord!’ ” John Piper

We will overcome, because He has overcome!!!

Blessings & Love,

Aish