Vacation & New Blog

Yikes .. it’s been a while since I’ve written a post!

My family and I went to Arizona to get away from the MN weather and bask in the AZ sun a few weeks ago.

It was wonderful!

Since I have been ill I have had very low Vitamin-D levels, I am sure this is very common with chronic illnesses, and I made sure my vacation consisted mostly of me lying in the sun … and that I did!!! I felt so good, you guys … hardly any pains, no aches, no dizziness, no fatigue, nothing … all those annoying symptoms were pretty much gone and I felt pretty close to normal for 5 days!!

Such a big tease!!

When we got back to MN, sure enough, the very next day I was back to feeling icky again.

Do any of you feel better during the summer?! Have any of you made that drastic move and relocated to a warmer state?

Now .. if only I can convince my small-town-Minnesotan-husband to move!!

Happy wife happy life …. write that down gentlemen! 🙂

Completely off the topic-

When I started this blog last year I didn’t know if I was going to enjoy it, so I purposely chose the easier way to start a blog and didn’t really put much effort to the design because I wasn’t sure if I was going to keep it. Well, since I thoroughly enjoy writing (who would have thought?) I have decided to switch from WordPress.com to WordPress.org and get a better design for my blog. I have been reading up on the switch and it sounds very confusing. I don’t want to start a new blog, I just want to transfer the contents from this one onto the next one! I don’t know how some people do this for a living .. it is very very confusing! To add on to the confusion, I have a Chromebook (don’t ever get a Chromebook) and it is run by Google, therefore, I am unable to download certain contents onto my Chromebook!! I might have to bust out my humungo computer and start using that one … we shall see!!

Hopefully within the next week or so I should have it all figured out!!

Blessings,

Aish Xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

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Mystery Illness – My Old Notes

I have a really old laptop, you know, the ones that could be easily mistaken for a TV …. it’s huge! It doesn’t really work all that well .. so my husband and I just put it away and haven’t used it in 3 years.

I’ll get back to the computer story here in a minute, but I started a new herb two weeks ago and at only one drop it has been making me feel pretty icky. I haven’t left the house much lately because of my health and because we have been having glorious weather (by glorious I mean never ending snow) here in MN. Any folks down south want to take in a sick gal? my achy body needs warm weather!!!

But, I digress, let’s get back to the story …

I have been on a looking through old photos kick lately and decided to take my old laptop out and look through some of the old photos that are in it, as I was doing that I stumbled upon a file called Mystery Illness and I thought to myself “NO WAY”!! When my symptoms began 3 years ago, my primary then didn’t know what was going on with me, so I decided to type out dates, what I was doing then and what my symptoms were for him so he could help me figure what was going on with me. I thought I deleted the file years ago but apparently I didn’t!!

{Sigh} It brought back so many emotions … I remember where I was sitting when I was typing it, I remember the anxiety and the frustration, I remember my arms feeling so weak while my fingers tapped on the keyboard and tears of sadness and desperation silently rolled down my cheeks.

Here it is, copied from my old computer (I did remove the doctors names that were caring for me at that time):

September: Went to the ER for Severe lower left abdominal pain, diarrhea and nausea. Doctor diagnosed me with an Enterovirus.

Oct. 8: Went camping.

Oct. 12-13: Went to cabin.

Oct. 14: Went to Duluth – Woke up around 3:00am with upper left abdominal pain and nausea.

Oct. 15: Duluth – Woke up around 3:30am with excruciating upper left abdominal pain and nausea. I made myself vomit and the stomach pain went away.

Oct. 16: Felt sick and weak all day.

Oct. 17: I called to make an appointment for my stomach pain, but they insisted I go to urgent care/ER.

* Made a follow up that week with Dr. and she prescribed me medication for GERD.

* Symptoms did not get any better. On and off dizziness.

Oct. 29: Felt very sick all day. Stomach pain, nausea and headaches.

Oct. 30: Felt the same as the day before.

Oct. 31: Woke up with severe pressure in my head. Did not get any better after taking Ibuprofen or extra strength Tylenol.

* Went to Dr. that week and mentioned the pressure in my head. She looked in my ears and said I had fluid buildup in my ears and later prescribed me Tramadol.

* The following week, I was riding in the car with my husband one night and I noticed the street lights hurt my eyes so bad I had to put my head down.

* That same week, I was watching TV one night and I felt an odd sensation in my head, almost like a crawling feeling. It was very uncomfortable and weird.

* Made an appointment with Dr. that following week and he noticed my sinuses were very clogged. He prescribed me steroids and over the counter medication.

* Started steroids that Friday and felt instant relief with the pressure in my head.

* Saturday night – Right when I was about to lay my head down, I felt as if my scalp was burning. Since then, it has been painful to sleep on the left side of my head and on my back. Also, the left side of my scalp has been very sensitive to touch.

Symptoms:

Headaches – the pain varies from spot to spot. At time, pressure in my temples. Shooting pain on the left side of my head and the back left side of my head. Sometimes pain behind both ears.

Extreme nausea.

Some abdominal pain but not severe like it used to be.

Cooling/pain sensation on my left temple and left side of my neck.

Shooting pain in my spine.

Odd sensation back of the head and shoulders.

On and off twitching in my left eye, and left side of my lip.

Tingling and odd sensation in my left arm and left leg. (I noticed while carrying plates at my work, my left hand felt weak. It was hard for me to carry three plates at once, and I had been doing that just fine for the past year)

Pain in my left eye at times.

Pain in left jaw at times.

Tingling in my left cheek at times.

Very fatigued (towards the end of the night, I am very very tired. I almost feel like I am drunk)

* Something that has been really bothering me, and it might sound stupid but normally I am a very good speller, however, lately I noticed it takes me a little while longer to figure out how to spell a simple word.

I hate to mention I went camping (never sprayed any tick repellent or anything) in August of that year as well (a month before my symptoms started).

After I gave my Dr. these notes, he ran an ELISA test and sure enough a positive babesia (ding ding ding), but I was only treated for one week and then 50 more symptoms showed up after that!! I completely forgot I had some of these symptoms, so It is a good reminder to look back and see what has improved and what hasn’t!! This made me want to write down my current symptoms so I can look back a year or so from now and see what has improved and what hasn’t!!

Blessings & Love,

Aisha 🙂

Acupuncture: My Thoughts

Warning: I have been having major brain fog and I just feel like my brain hasn’t been functioning well lately (my husband would say “just lately??”), so if I misspell any words or if sentences don’t flow correctly, that is why!!! 

I have been meaning to write a post about acupuncture and what I thought of it, but I wanted to wait a while to see if it is or isn’t working for me.

I started Acupuncture sometime in November and I did notice little improvements right away but it took about a month to see major improvements. It was really great to see, because honestly, I did not believe in acupuncture at all prior to trying it, It just seemed too weird that poking people with tiny needles would help alleviate symptoms … but, it really does work!!!

It helped-

My mood, anxiety (this one was huge for me), pain, sleep (slept like a baby most days), balance, nerve issues, headaches and my legs felt stronger. 

Finding a good acupuncturist is HUGE. My acupuncturist is amazing, she has been doing it for 30 some years and she knows A LOT, not just with acupuncture but with herbals, supplements and nutrition. I saw her in January sometime and she dropped a bomb on me telling me she was going to Florida for a vacation for a few months and that another gal was going to replace her for those few months … my heart almost stopped!! She knew so much about me and my illness and knew just what I needed … I was really bummed out. 

I made an appointment with the new gal. First time was eh, okay … she only had two years experience and seemed very nervous around me, which made me extremely nervous. I thought I would give her a second try, maybe she needed to get used to me or something. The next appointment was pretty awful … I was lying on the bed and she put a needle in my wrist and she clearly hit a nerve with the needle because my hand stung soo bad (it’s a weird painful vibrating sensation) and I screamed so loud. She tried doing it again, but on the other wrist .. that one went in okay, but it still felt kinda weird. Same thing happened to my leg and she moved the location of that needle to the other leg. So I am lying there with 13 needles sticking out of my body and all of sudden my arms and legs were throbbing with horrible pain, shooting pain going up my leg and up my arm, involuntary thumb movement .. and I started to panic!!! I was alone in the room, she had just left to the room next door to me, which meant I was in the room for another 20 minutes!!!

I started bagging on the wall … nothing … I yelled out her name “RACHEL RACHEL” … nothing!! I finally got up with all needles sticking out of my body and walked out the room. My appointments are in a center where there is yoga, fitness, a hair salon and more … so outside the rooms people were roaming the halls and what not (why the heck didn’t anyone hear me when I was screaming bloody murder?). I walk out there with needles sticking out of my ears, face, head, arms, legs and feet … people were just staring at me like an alien had just walked out of the room. Rachel (the acupuncturist) was frazzled when she saw me … she rushed me back into the room and apologized and even offered to rub my legs and feet, but I just wanted to get the heck out of there!!

Sorry, that was a long story, but I just had to share!!

Anyway, find a good acupuncturist if you are considering trying it!!

I haven’t done acupuncture in 3 weeks now and I can definitely tell the difference, and unfortunately, I won’t be going back to it until March sometime!

The gist of this post is that I totally recommend acupuncture! However, If you just started treating Lyme and co’s, I would wait until you’re further into treatment and your nervous system is more calm!! 

Blessings & Love,

Aisha 🙂

 

 

 

You Know You Have Lyme When You ….

1- Write “Lyme” on the grocery list instead of “Lime”.

You know you have Lyme when you …

2- Are talking and mid sentence you completely go blank and ask what you were just talking about. (Put Lyme patients in a room together and you end up with the best comedy show EVER)

You know you have Lyme when you …

3- Know how many moles you have on your body.

You know you have Lyme when you …

4- Have a tick repellent spray bottle, tick repellent wipes and a tick remover with a magnifier in your purse ALWAYS!! (Maybe this is just me haha)

You know you have Lyme when you …

5- Are excited for your new shipment of supplements to come in.

You know you have Lyme when you …

6- Vacuum the floor a 100 times during spring, summer and fall.

You know you have Lyme when you …

7- Sit there for 10 minutes trying to figure out how to spell the word ‘roof’ .. “is it ruf? ruph? .. crap I need to google it.”

You know you have Lyme when you …

8- Ask if you will be anywhere near grassy/woodsy areas when planning an outing with family or friends because you need to be prepared!!

You know you have Lyme when your …

9- Body can’t handle heat nor cold. You have ten layers of clothing on in the winter because you can’t warm up and you feel like fainting during the summer because you’re too hot.

You know you have Lyme when you …

10- say “oh it’s a full moon … that must be why I feel so crappy”, and everyone looks at you like you are coo coo.

You know you have Lyme when you …

11- Have returned furniture and numerous articles of clothing because they have a strong smell to them that no one else could smell but you.

You know you have Lyme when you …

12- Know every antibiotic that was ever made, how it’s spelled and how it’s pronounced.

You know you have Lyme when you …

13- Leave the house wearing slippers and had to drive back to put regular shoes on.

You know you have Lyme when you …

14- Are very well known in the Emergency Room … maybe even by your first name.

You know you have Lyme when you …

15- Have every prescription under the sun given to you and could possibly open up a pharmacy of your own.

You know you have Lyme when you …

16- Start thinking that some of the herbal names could be cute for a future daughter or son.

This list is never ending for me!

How about you?

you know you have Lyme when you?!?

Blessings & Love,

Aish

“I am Transforming You”

It was a chilly fall morning.

I lay in bed gazing out the window, carefully watching each leaf sway.

“How did all the trees look so vibrant with all the beautiful red, orange and gold colors last week, and now, they practically look dead?” I asked myself.

I brushed it off and got on with my day.

After breakfast, I came back to my room, I knelt before the Lord and prayed my morning prayer.

I feel closer to God when I gaze at His creation. Trees, birds, the sky, etc,  give me a tremendous amount of peace when I am praying, and that only comes from being in His presence. So, I always pray in front of the big window in my bedroom.

It was an ordinary morning. I opened up my prayer in thanksgiving and made my requests made known to Him, at the same time, watching most of the lifeless leaves fall slowly to the ground and others swaying back and forth from the tree branch.

In the middle of my prayer, I became silent & my eyes were fixed on the leaves.

A gust of wind came rushing by and took down the last leaves that were swaying.

Some of them drifted off in a distance, and others lay quietly in a pile.

“For the leaves to come new, they have to die, my sweet child.”

That was the first time in my life, since I became a believer, I heard God very clearly speaking to me. I may not have heard a loud-thundering voice … but I just knew it was Him.

I have struggled for a long time to hear God’s voice, and then there are others who seem to have God’s number in their contact list. He is finding them parking spots and telling them what decision to make! I felt as if I was missing a Christian chromosome and would never be able to hear His voice.

As I knelt on the floor, I felt Him gently whispering to me “You are in the process of a spiritual transformation, my child … your old-self dying to your new-self.”

Things I enjoyed doing before I became ill, I don’t enjoy doing anymore. Things that used to make me laugh back then (dirty jokes, etc), don’t make me laugh anymore. TV shows and movies I enjoyed watching back then, I don’t enjoy watching anymore.

My mind is transforming, my heart is transforming and my soul is transforming into someone that God wants me to be!

I sat there in silence and tears went pouring down my cheeks. I couldn’t finish my prayer … I bowed my head and quietly whispered, “Thank you, Lord.”

This happened to me in the beginning of fall. I wanted to write a post about it then, but I had no idea how to convey it into words, because to be quite honest with you, words can’t describe what I felt and what I heard that chilly fall morning. I prayed hard about it for a while now and asked The Holy Spirit to guide my fingers while I write this post today, because I couldn’t have done it otherwise!

You and I have asked God to remove our suffering numerous times, and the answer may have been “not yet”, and that is okay, because He is transforming our suffering into something that will be beneficial for us and will bring glory to Him!

Lean on Him …

Don’t give up …

We have new life in Him.

Blessings & Love,

Aisha

 

 

 

 

 

Finding the New Normal

Am I going to be normal again?

I have asked myself this question a 100 times.

I day dream of doing Ballet again, I day dream of running on a cool, fall morning again. I day dream of having an abundance of energy again, I day dream of being with family & friends and actually enjoying my time with them instead of wondering if I am going to croak right there, right then, in front of everyone.

I spend too much time thinking about how I used to be healthy and all that I was physically able to do, and I forget about what I am currently able to do! It is an awful mindset and it puts me in a deep pit of depression!

No more …. I am done!

When I am sitting, complaining, that my eye floaters are driving me insane and wishing I had better vision – who cares! I mean really, who cares if I am swatting “flies” away when in reality they are my eye floaters. God has blessed me with two eyes that can see. I can see the beauty that is around me, I can see when my husband winks at me (one of my favorite things), I can see my beautiful family and so forth.That is a huge gift.

There were so many incidents when my husband and I would take walks and we would have to cut our walk short because my legs would get weak and shaky. Almost every time, I would secretly go to the bathroom and tear up because I thought my husband and I can’t even enjoy a beautiful summer walk because of me.

Two years ago, I had a very hard time walking. I couldn’t go to stores unless I held on to my husband or I was leaning against a cart for balance support. Today, I can walk by myself without having to hold on to anyone or anything! Yes, my legs are still weak, and yes, I still can’t run (YET), but I can walk with my husband (even if it is for a short time), I can run errands (even if I am exhausted afterwards), and this is another huge gift from God!!

I don’t know if I will ever be able to do some of the things I was able to do when I was healthier, and I want to be at peace with that.

I want to find the new normal for me this year.

I want to enjoy and be grateful for what I am able to do now and not look back at what I was able to do.

I want to enjoy my walks with my husband, even if they are 5 minutes long.

I want to enjoy our nights on the couch, watching movies, holding each others hands because I don’t feel good enough to leave the house.

I want to enjoy my time with my family, whether I feel awful or not, and remember the moments I have with them.

Time is short, friends …. we are not guaranteed a tomorrow. Let’s embrace and savor every moment!

I made a list of things I am currently able to do, and the smile on my face just grew wider and wider. I challenge you to do the same. Right now, get a piece of paper and a pen and write out the things you are physically able to do. It will shock you, and it will open your eyes to how little you lost from this illness! I used to say I lost a lot from this illness, but no, I gained way more FROM the things I lost.

God’s gifts are endless … we just have to open our eyes and look a little closer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Walking Lymies

I got a glimpse of myself as I was walking by our bedroom mirror the other morning, and I was frazzled.

It was a bad morning!

I had the Lyme hangover (you, Lyme friends, know what I am talking about)… it felt like a big semi ran over my body 10 times the night before!

I woke up from bed and my hair looked like a I was rocking out hard in my sleep … it was everywhere. Beautiful (not really) fluffy bags under my eyes. Pale skin. Zits the size of a golf ball on my face (why on earth am I breaking out at the age of 28?!?) … I mean my husband couldn’t get any luckier! My golly he scored big time!

I knew I resembled someone when I saw myself in the mirror, but I couldn’t pin-point who it was!

And then it hit me ….

I looked like the walkers from The Walking Dead … the resemblance was uncanny!!

The hair .. identical. The Stance … identical. The walk … identical. Too bad we didn’t hear about the auditions for the part earlier on. We wouldn’t need all that makeup they put on their faces, we would just have to wake up from a herx and TADA … we look like walkers!!

Fellow Lymies, I think we found ourselves a job to pay for the copious amount of meds, herbals, supps, doc appointments and not to mention, therapy, because this illness makes you go totally crazy!!!

Watch out Hollywood, here comes The Walking Lymies!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

So Many Meds

I was looking through some old photos and I came across this one. (sorry it’s large)

Image

 

That was the month I started treating Lyme & Co’s for the first time. My husband and I were going out of town and I remember looking at my bag and thinking “WOW, these are a lot of meds to take”, so I snapped a photo of it and sent it to my siblings saying “Look at all the meds I have to take.” I also thought I will only need these meds to get me better .. HA .. boy was I wrong! 

I threw away a lot of my meds and empty bottles, but I saved some just in case something happens with our insurance or whatever .. you just never know now a days! After I looked at this photo, I went and gathered all my meds and supplements that I have taken in the past year, and I would say this photo is just half of what I took – not including the empty bottles I threw away!!

Image

 

It’s crazy how many supplements/meds Lyme patients need to get better! You name it, and we are on it!

Ooooohh, the joy’s of having a chronic illness, right?! :p

Blessings,

Aisha

 

What Did You Say?!

This has been my husbands favorite sentence all week.

My neurological issues scare me quite a bit, but this time I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the things I have been saying recently.

My sweet husband would look at me with a concerned/baffled/feel sorry for me face and I would just vomit out Lyme words that would make absolutely no sense!!

Here’s a quick story for you –

We have been having a hard time finding a Church here in our new hometown. So, Saturday night, we talked about watching Dr. Charles Stanley on TV Sunday morning. The following day, My husband was sitting on the couch, and as I was walking out of our bedroom I say … wait for it … wait for it … “Hey honey, did you want Dr. Charles Stanley for lunch?” … my husband, for the 100th time this week, says “what did you say?!?!”, we both look at each other quietly and burst into laughter. He then proceeds with “no no, Dr. Charles Stanley doesn’t really sound that good for lunch .. thanks though.”

I originally wanted to say “Hey honey, did you want to watch Dr. Charles Stanley this morning?”  I have no idea where the lunch part came from nor was I thinking about lunch, or anything that pertains to food for that matter!

I started feeling very ill Monday morning with extreme vertigo, AWFUL headaches, stomach issues and extreme fatigue. I thought I was herxing really bad, relapsing, or coming down with a nasty bug. A few days ago, both my husband and I smelt something funky in the basement. My husband calls for someone right away to come check it out, and come to find out, we had two gas leaks in our home – that’s the last thing my body needs right now! It was fixed that night, but I left and spent the night at my in-laws house and sure enough, the headaches and all that stuff went away the next day!!

Anyways, so I keep telling my husband my brain was being filled with toxic gas this past week and that is why I was saying all these weird words! 😉

I know how scary it can be with these neurological issues – memory loss, word retrieval and all that stuff – it can be extremely depressing and frightening, but sometime it is good to just laugh at it rather than dwell on it. For me, it feels like a small victory against this illness!

This might sound really strange to you all but sometimes (not in public or out loud .. I promise:)) I talk to the Lyme and Co’s (which by the way, I am certain they are somehow related to the devil … cousins or siblings … especially Babesia). Yesterday, for example, as I walked away from my hubby after our laughing attack, in my mind I said “I bet you didn’t see that coming, you nasty little things.” Other times, on days where I feel like this illness is trying really hard to get to me I would say to it “you have no control over my body or mind.” Our minds are sooo powerful, you guys …  it creates reality in a ‘sense’!! The way we think determines what we can and can’t see or do. We have a huge advantage over this rotten illness … let’s use it!

Last year I would have been bumming out big time for messing up my words as much as I have in the past week. I would have went on and on about me not sounding smart and it would have spiraled into a sobbing fest.

Let’s try these together –

If you can’t retain any information while you are conversing with someone, just say “wow, that is crazy” like I do 🙂

If you are driving and forget whether the turn signal goes down or up for left or right turns – it is okay – just put your hazard lights on. (this totally happened by the way)

On a serious note, no matter how weird we may sound or act … let’s add a little humor to it and laugh at ourselves! I am not going to let this illness win and neither are you!

Small victories, my friends … small victories!

“With enough small victories one can overcome impossible opposition and odds”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

House, Health & Acupuncture

Yay! I survived the move!!

The past few months have been crazy busy, especially the past few weeks. We moved in to our home two Wednesday’s ago … we had to unpack, clean (my mother in law did most of it) & more unpacking … it felt like it was never ending and honestly, it still feels that way! I went up to Duluth two weekends ago because my sisters longtime boyfriend was planning a surprise proposal. Also, this past weekend my husband and I drove down to Rochester because both of us were in a wedding … so, yeah, it has been a little nuts lately!!

So, what is going on with my health?

Well, I am still on Takuna & A-bart. Now that life is slowing down a bit, I upped my Takuna dose to 2 drops and once I stop herxing from it I will add Quina (Microbial Defense) and Enula (for Babesia). My LLMD thinks I still have some Babesia in me – I treated babs (short cut for babesia) for a year with Mepron & Azithromycin, I was also on Minocycline (not sure if it hits babs or not), anyways, she thinks my treatment for babs wasn’t long enough and the meds weren’t enough. So, here I go again with babs treatment. To be honest with you, I am petrified to start Enula because I had the worst herxes from treating babs. The herxes were stroke like symptoms … VERY VERY scary. I was also the most depressed I had ever been when I was treating babesia … it was a very scary time in my life! I am praying that I will react differently this time around because a) they are herbals and b) I am hoping my babesia load is down, so I won’t herx as bad …. we shall see!!!

I started a sublingual b12 methylcobalamin a month ago because of the C677t gene mutation that I have, and I can say that I have noticed a bit of a difference in my energy. I am still looking for someone who is able to interpret my raw data from my 23andme results so I can figure out what supplements work for me and which ones don’t!

I did acupuncture for the first time last week. I had heard mixed reviews about getting acupuncture done while having Lyme and Co-infections, so, I wanted to experience it myself and see what it was all about.

It was strange … very very strange.

The acupuncturist touched spots on my feet, legs, stomach, arms, hands, head and ears and by doing that she could tell what was going on in my body!! It was crazy! My liver is good, my gallbladder is good, something is goofy with my spleen and my large intestine and of course my immune system is bad.

Prior to this, I filled out a symptom checklist and, no joke, I almost checked off every symptom on the list. She looked at it and said “yikes” and in my mind I said “lady, I feel so sorry for you because you have a handful.”

She put the needles in my feet, legs, hands, arms, ears and hands. Shockingly, they didn’t hurt, but they felt a little weird! Then, she put a hypothermia blanket on me and told me to nap for 20 minutes. I thought she was joking – how can someone nap looking like that?!?!

As she exited the room I had a giggling attack because I thought I looked ridiculous … oh, at what length some people (me) will go for their health!!!

I felt very odd the first 5 minutes into it. Heart palpitation, weird sensations in my body, vertigo – basically a lot of my symptoms were heightened. I was very tempted to exist the room and walk next door (to her office) and ask her to take the pins out of my body, but I thought that would make me look even more ridiculous. Fifteen minutes into it I became extremely sleepy and the sleepiness/fatigue/vertigo continued for several hours after my appointment, but after that I had an enormous amount of energy!

Since then, the ringing in my ears have diminished, my anxiety has been less this week & I feel happier! I see her again this Thursday … slightly dreading it because of how I felt the first 5 minutes, but, if it will help me get better, then it is definitely worth it!!

Blessings & Love,

Aisha 🙂