It was a chilly fall morning.
I lay in bed gazing out the window, carefully watching each leaf sway.
“How did all the trees look so vibrant with all the beautiful red, orange and gold colors last week, and now, they practically look dead?” I asked myself.
I brushed it off and got on with my day.
After breakfast, I came back to my room, I knelt before the Lord and prayed my morning prayer.
I feel closer to God when I gaze at His creation. Trees, birds, the sky, etc, give me a tremendous amount of peace when I am praying, and that only comes from being in His presence. So, I always pray in front of the big window in my bedroom.
It was an ordinary morning. I opened up my prayer in thanksgiving and made my requests made known to Him, at the same time, watching most of the lifeless leaves fall slowly to the ground and others swaying back and forth from the tree branch.
In the middle of my prayer, I became silent & my eyes were fixed on the leaves.
A gust of wind came rushing by and took down the last leaves that were swaying.
Some of them drifted off in a distance, and others lay quietly in a pile.
“For the leaves to come new, they have to die, my sweet child.”
That was the first time in my life, since I became a believer, I heard God very clearly speaking to me. I may not have heard a loud-thundering voice … but I just knew it was Him.
I have struggled for a long time to hear God’s voice, and then there are others who seem to have God’s number in their contact list. He is finding them parking spots and telling them what decision to make! I felt as if I was missing a Christian chromosome and would never be able to hear His voice.
As I knelt on the floor, I felt Him gently whispering to me “You are in the process of a spiritual transformation, my child … your old-self dying to your new-self.”
Things I enjoyed doing before I became ill, I don’t enjoy doing anymore. Things that used to make me laugh back then (dirty jokes, etc), don’t make me laugh anymore. TV shows and movies I enjoyed watching back then, I don’t enjoy watching anymore.
My mind is transforming, my heart is transforming and my soul is transforming into someone that God wants me to be!
I sat there in silence and tears went pouring down my cheeks. I couldn’t finish my prayer … I bowed my head and quietly whispered, “Thank you, Lord.”
This happened to me in the beginning of fall. I wanted to write a post about it then, but I had no idea how to convey it into words, because to be quite honest with you, words can’t describe what I felt and what I heard that chilly fall morning. I prayed hard about it for a while now and asked The Holy Spirit to guide my fingers while I write this post today, because I couldn’t have done it otherwise!
You and I have asked God to remove our suffering numerous times, and the answer may have been “not yet”, and that is okay, because He is transforming our suffering into something that will be beneficial for us and will bring glory to Him!
Lean on Him …
Don’t give up …
We have new life in Him.
Blessings & Love,